


Commander of my life

by DragonDancer235



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drugging, Erwin is a psycopath, F/M, Insanity, Murder, Rape, Rough Sex, Suicide, Very gritty, dark themes, lots of people die, mid-relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 17:36:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8809897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonDancer235/pseuds/DragonDancer235
Summary: I placed my hands either side of her face still looming over her. She was still beautiful even with fresh bruises encasing her neck like a collar. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck and inhaled her smell. She sent me over the edge, she is like a drug to me I can't ever have enough. I pressed a few kisses to the new bruises before standing up over her waiting for (y/n) to finish coughing and choking. Once she sat up and her breath settled, I bent down to her height. Looking deep into her eyes feeling a little guilty I let myself run away like that.I don't condone abusive relationships this is for the purpose of fan fiction. If you're in one Get The Fuck Out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Commander of my life…**

"Thank you commander." I blushed a gentle pink and took the small daisy from his fingertips and gingerly tucked it into the strands of my (h/c) braid.

"You're too grateful toward me." He gave a slight smile through his wearied expression, hours of horse riding outside of the walls causes saddle sores and back aches - it was nice to sit on the grass for a while rather than on horseback. Not only was I sitting on horseback for those many hours I was also unorthodoxly on edge. Not just from the titans roaming around freely, but it was the strange fact that whenever a titan would come close to me it would either collapse dead or have its legs removed from the shin down. I don’t know if it was from one of the other riders or some angel was protecting me

"How long do we have till the next supply point commander?" I asked quietly and stood up from the patch of grass glancing down at the commander who was till sitting there analysing. Beginning to untied my horse from the willow tree next to Erwin's mount and checked him over waiting for an answer from the commander. Erwin sighed and stood up with effort his eyes locked to mine conveying concern.

"I have told you already Little Dove call me Erwin. I am your friend and commander; you can talk to me like a normal person. And to answer your question... I doubt we will even make it to the next supply point."

"Sir!" One of the scouting legion members called Armin sprinted over and stood in salute catching Erwin’s attention away from me and to the now grown male before him. Armin and I are good friends for the three years we have been training to go outside. I admire his smarts and his vibrant blue eyes that seemed to assess what he should say or what he should do before talking to me. I waved to him from behind the commander. Armin gave me a small smile in acknowledgment before his attention snapped back to the commander. Erwin stepped in front of me almost shielding me away from him.

"What is it solider?" Erwin's gaze trailed back to my face before sending a glare at the younger over his shoulder. His tone of voice coming out irritated.

Which is very different from his usual calm front it caused me to raise an eyebrow and look away from him. Although this was nothing unusual for me. Erwin always seemed different when he is around me compared to others. And I think people have noticed especially since our relationship has developed to the point of… I’m not sure exactly?

"Um... The casualties have been totalled and we have lost over 20% of our force and a further 30% have been injured and most of those are unable to ride their horses. What shall we do commander?" Armin responded with hesitation his ble hues flitting everywhere for signs of danger. Erwin sighed, his ice like eyes turning to Armin’s his body not moving away from me.

"Okay Alert. Tell the Squad leaders to head back to wall Maria." Erwin rumbled in that authoritative tone that made me giddy inside.

"Yes Sir!" Armin shouted and sprinted off in the general direction of what I could assume was Levi’s squad first.

"As for you (y/n). You will be riding with me. I don't want you to be hurt." Erwin ran his hand up my arm and rested it against my cheek sending tingles up and through my body. I tried to desperately supress my blushing since his moves startled me as he doesn’t unusually show affection in public. Since our relationship went public people have questioned its moral. Considering the fact that he is thirty and I have only just turned nineteen. Neither one of us cared what others thought and generally we would only exchange passing glances brushes of fingertips or kisses when we were in a stair well together. But since we became an item his ideals toward other men talking – touching or looking at me had turned aggressive.

"Come along Little Dove time to go." Erwin smiled gently and stepped over to his horse taking hold of its bridal and guiding him toward the small group congregating. I pulled at my horses reins and guided him to follow Erwin's horse.

"How comes I have been moved to the middle with you Sir? Even Eren is one back from you..." Erwin's body stiffened when I questioned about Eren's position. I tried asking it with a gentle tone in hope he wouldn't be upset with me for talking about another man.

Waiting for his response was unsettling, he was clearly composing himself not to yell at me for calling him Sir or talking about Eren. He especially hated me calling him ‘Sir’ or ‘Commander’.

"Little Dove what did I say about calling me Sir?" He hissed and the grip on the reins of the horse’s bridal tightened, causing his mount to fidget from the pull of his owner.

"Not to do it." I mumbled and my head slumped in dismay to the floor. I don’t mean to do it, it’s force of habit and I think he knows that but it still makes him angry.

"Oh little Dove... I can't protect you from the titans if you're off in the scouting team. I could never live with myself if you were to be killed." Erwin stopped walking and turned around to face me. His free hand taking mine into his giant palms. "You wouldn't want to see me hurt. Would you...?" Erwin mumbled and brought me in for a hug. His hands carefully holding my figure in his embrace, as if I as a delicate bird that was ready to fly away should he do anything rash.

"Never would I want to see you hurt Erwin." I could feel him smile into my (h/c) hair and breath out a gentle and seemingly triumphant sigh. I know I have become more and more lenient with him in what he is allowed and not allowed to say, once upon a time when Erwin wasn't so close to me. I would have laughed at the idea or even the notion of being protected by someone, I could defend myself. I'm a capable woman who was to say I wasn't? But little did I know Erwin was chipping slowly away at that wall to the point where he can tare chunks out of that wall and I would allow it because I am so ignorant to his polite and his ways and chose not to see the obvious signs. This isn’t a healthy relationship and I know that all too well.

People wouldn’t tell me this though, if someone would mention it to me they would have endless workloads. The only person who hasn't had that problem yet is Eren...

Reiner has had nothing but manual labour jobs which, kept him away from everyone only a week ago after he was caught by Erwin holding me in an embrace whilst placing kisses on my forehead and cheeks.

Jean had been sent off to the interior to serve as a communicator to the garrison and scouting legion he is rarely in the headquarters for longer than two days. He was caught sending me loving gazes and dodgily written love notes. I tried to hide them from Erwin but he found the stash hidden in the box I was going to burn that evening and he went mad. I can still see the rage on his face as he screamed that he was going to kill Jean in the worse way possible. I can still remember clearly when Erwin flipped over his desk own desk in rage and grabbed a knife from the back of his pocket and jammed it repeatedly into the paper screaming profanities and death threats. After he kept repeating to me that he won’t let someone come between us… Ever.

The only person who has hit on me without being sent off or having a stupid amount of work is Eren and I wouldn’t consider him lucky.

I fear for his life as much as I fear Erwin would one day snap at me and yet I couldn't stay away from him. I don't know whether it is his looks or the way he engulfs me into a tight embrace whenever he hugs me, or when he breaths on the shell of my ear, or on my neck before nibbling at them when we are alone. Or how I have specific privileges compared to others.

"Come along then Little Dove back to the Wall." Erwin smiled down at me and tipped my chin up to face him, before planting a small kiss on the edge of my nose, his icy blue eyes looking to me for a sign of approval. I smiled at him lightly and closed my eyes letting myself become lost in the moment of love and caring.

* * *

 

"Hey (y/n)!" Historia called to me as I exited the stables from putting (h/n) away.

"Hi Historia!" I waved and strolled over to meet her where she was standing. Besides Erwin only Historia had been nice to me and not threatening when I had first entered the survey corps. In fact, I owe her my gratitude for many things, she introduced everyone to me. She even introduced me to Erwin properly.

"So how are things with you and Erwin? Is he still acting possessive since you both became a couple?" Historia questioned quietly and linked her arm in with mine.

"Yea... He really hates me talking to other men. You should have seen the way his face twisted with anger as I asked about Eren." I mumbled to her as we both walked to the mess hall for the evening meal of more than likely mash and vegetables but it's more than some have behind these walls. I can be grateful for that.

"Maybe Eren just reminds him of titans and makes him angry? You know Erwin will do nothing to hurt you. Although I’m starting to question that. " Histora released my arm as we both entered the hall my eyes trailing over the many faces of the other recruits who had already eaten or eating their meals in silence, too much death had been seen for anyone to make conversation or carry one.

"I guess I see what you mean but I do like Eren he is lovely to talk to, minus the genocidal tendencies." I whispered and smirked along with Historia. Historia and I slipped over to the serving counter in silence from there on hoping to not attract too much attention by the clicking of out boots on the floor. I reached the destination of the serving counter and noticed only a couple of serving bowls left to our luck. As I picked up one of the bowls I didn't notice the large hand resting on my shoulder before turning me to face them.

"Oh hello Erwin." I smiled at him not registering the anger on his face.

"So is that the way you think about other men and not me." Erwin hissed as his grip on my shoulder became tighter and tighter as he snatched the bowl of mash out of my hands; his knuckles turning white at the grip he had on the wooden bowl. My smile disappeared and turned to a look of regret, I just shouldn’t have said anything about anyone.

"You're sitting with me." He growled and pulled me away from Historia without being able to say goodbye. The confusion and look of worry on her face was clear as I was pulled very vigorously away. I looked into my hands hoping those staring would look away from me and back to their own dinners. I know what all of them are thinking. Erwin shoved me onto an empty chair at the front of the hall before slamming the bowl onto the table in front of me causing me to jump in fear.

"Eat, little dove." Erwin seethed his hand smashing against the table as he dropped his body into the chair next to me. The silence was deafening me as my eyes were locked into the mash hoping by not looking at Erwin it wouldn't make him anymore angry than he already was. I could feel his eyes boring into my skull, which made me shiver. After I had finished my food I sat back in the chair and finally seeing everyone’s eyes on me as if I was something out of this world everyone judging from afar. Erwin suddenly threw himself up. His fists hitting the table as he screamed,

"Everyone get the fuck out!"

No one moved at first, I moved my eyes from the empty bowl to his face which was fill of  rage his eyebrows drawn close together giving a dark appeal to his face. He looked like he could kill. Slowly one by one people stood from their seats their faces confused and worried.

"Did you not hear me! I said, everyone GET THE FUCK OUT!" He smacked the table again. This time cadets scurried to leave, I arose and left, depositing my bowl in the washing try before I made a bee line for the exit. Allas my efforts were futile since people were in the way in a rush to leave "Not you little dove!" Erwin shouted from his position. I stiffened and stopped in my tracks silently begging he would just let me go, adrenaline pumping through my body as I turned around to him, that’s when I heard the doors to the hall slam closed causing me to swallow in terror.

"Come here (y/n)." Erwin growled before kicking the chair back away from him. His breathing ragged and uneven. His body arched over the table, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. Erwin’s predatory eyes following my movement as I walked up to the table just beside Erwin.

"Yes Sir." I mumble. He hissed out and grabbed my shoulders vigorously and slammed my back against the table top. My hands pinned against the smooth wood above my head as I cried out in pain from the sudden jarring of my back.

"What have I told you about calling me Sir?" He moved my hands to his left one freeing up his right hand which caressed the side of my face. I strained to speak as I knew that anything that was going to be said that wasn't what he wanted to hear, he would more than likely hurt you. To be honest I was grateful he hasn't done anything rash yet. “Is that the way you think about other men then? That I am not good enough for you?” He growled, I didn't notice him slip his hand down my body and grip my thigh before prying it open enough to push his hips in-between the gap created. He began to generate friction between his bulge and my clit. I moaned out in pleasure and irritation. The creaking of the table echoed under the weight of Erwin and I gave the impression of those who may be listening we were fucking.

"Erwin, please stop." He hissed out in glee when I used his name, he gripped my breast and pressed his lips to mine in a long passionate kiss. I could feel his bulge against the fabric of our clothes and I whimpered out in fear of what he will do next.

"Say my name again, (y/n)." He muttered whist resting his forehead on mine. I stayed quiet not wanting to say his name.

"Say it." Erwin pleaded his eyes closed in erotic pleasure as his hands continued to massage my breasts and dry fuck me as if this were the last thing he were ever to do.

"Fucking say it!" He yelled his eyes opened wide with anger and pleasure as he was reaching his climax. I jumped at his sudden tone change and thought better than to disobey him further.

"Erwin..." I could feel him growl low within his chest and release in his trousers, the warm goo seeping down his leg and between my tights made me cringe in distaste and disgust. Erwin didn't care and instead pressed his face between my breasts taking in my smell.

"Don’t ever talk about another man again. You are mine and no one else’s." Erwin mumbled into me, stroking my shoulder and letting his left-hand slip from my wrists to lay to rest in one of mine. I looked to the ceiling knowing there was nothing I could do that could curb Erwin's addiction to me, he was becoming more and more violent because of it and I knew it was only a matter of time before he either hurt someone else... Or worse yet, he will hurt me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Here we go little dove. This is my quarters, you will be staying with me now on since I don't want someone sneaking in and hurting you." Erwin kissed the top of my head as he nudged me into his room, excitement was clear on his face as he bounced in front of me and grabbed my hand pulling me over to his bed before sitting us both down on the mattress. I looked around the room in awe, the mattress was soft compared to the other bed filled with hay in my now old room. It was triple the size and had a bright hearth that warmed the room to the right which bathed the bookshelves stuffed high with books in a golden hue. The bed was draped in satin sheets which felt like molten gold under my fingertips causing me shiver with glee. I discarded my jacket onto the floor along with the manuver gear knowing Erwin will probably put them away for me. Looking back to Erwin he raised a finger and tapped my nose and skipped over to a cabinet which I recognised as my own. He rested his hand upon it and brushed the surface with a pleased look.

"I also took the liberty of moving your clothes and other items into here as well, so you won't have to leave... Ever." He smiled at me as he stood straight and proud. I couldn't help but blush at how he must have seen the content of the underwear draw, but one thing that grated against my nerves was how he spoke with such certainty when he said,

"You won't have to leave... Ever." And knowing what Erwin is like he will stick to that.

* * *

She sat elegantly on my bed, taking in the new sights of her... No, our new room. She had no idea how long I had been waiting, it nearly made me snap once, that horse face cadet in Levi's squad being in the firing line. Who knows what could have happened should I have let it go on, as awful as those love notes were, they were very dangerous to our relationship. She is mine and only mine, I can't let her go I've lost too much already I won't lose her too. I released a low growl in my throat at the thought of someone taking her away from me. I will kill anyone who wants her... I Will Kill everyone who even looks at her side ways.

"Sir? Are you alright?" She asked standing up from the bed but not actually moving from her position to walk toward me. Three big strides is all it took me to stand in front of her my temper flaring from the fact she won't use my name. I raised my hand and brought it down on her cheek. The force knocked her onto the bed, she held her cheek as she looked at me in shock. I had never laid my hands on her in any other way but today she had pushed her limits. Rage boiled inside me and I couldn't stop myself.

"Fucking use my name!" I screamed and grabbed her neck before applying pressure, feeling her heartbeat through her veins that pulsed against my palms. It gave me satisfaction that I could only do this to her. Her blood is mine.

"What is so hard about using my name?! I want you to use it so use it!" I shouted my eyebrows pulled toward each other, my eyes almost bursting in anger.

She clawed at the skin around my wrist's writhing under me. Her eyes bulging and face turning red. Tears forming in the corners of her eyes, God I love seeing her writhe to get away like a pathetic animal trying to stand with a pair of broken legs. I love how weak she is against me.

"E-rwin...ge-t .... o--ff!" She choked out. Satisfaction washed over me as she mewled out my name between those beautiful lips.

"All you needed to do was say my name." I whispered gently before removing my hands from her neck letting the oxygen flow to her lungs. I placed my hands either side of her face still looming over her. She was still beautiful even with fresh bruises encasing her neck like a collar. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck and inhaled her smell. She sent me over the edge, she is like a drug to me I can't ever have enough. I pressed a few kisses to the new bruises before standing up over her waiting for (y/n) to finish coughing and choking. Once she sat up and her breath settled, I lowered myself to her face. Looking deep into her eyes feeling a little guilty I let myself run away like that. Standing up from straddling her I placed a kiss on her forehead and ran my fingers through her hair.

"Come along my little dove. Let’s take a bath, I need to clean you." I mumbled before scooping her up into my arms and carrying her to my en-suet. Once I entered the bath-room I shut the door behind me and began to draw a bath with her still in my arms. I sat on the toilet seat and placed a finger on the side of (y/n) face and turning her to face me.

"Stand up for me little dove." She moved from my lap and stood up, her eyes locked onto the wall behind me her eyes vacant of emotion. This is what I want, her broken, submissive and all mine. Not questioning anything I say or do.

"Look at me (y/n)." Her eyes floated down to my face. Still empty of everything. I placed my hands on the top button of her shirt and started to work down the garment unbuttoning each one slowly as to savour the sensation of undressing her. It's not the first time I'm going to see her without clothing, but it will be the first of being in the same room. I must steady myself, I can't spoil her yet. I can still remember every detail of the last bath she had, her fingers gliding over her body as she began to remove all the soapy grime off her body. I remember carefully making the hole I could watch her through in the girls bathroom from one of the empty offices used for storage. I remember her checking the bathroom making sure no one was there. I wasn't sure what she was doing at first till one of her hands slipped down her body and nestled itself there. I pleasured myself to that whilst watching her; seeing her wriggle and shudder at her own hands makes me think what I could do to her. Would she scream my name as I press her into the bed and fuck her hard?

Removing her shirt. I turned her round to face me, I undid her bra. Once that was done I dropped it onto the floor which sat in a crumpled mess. Turning (y/n) back to face me I pulled her trousers down along with her underwear and lifted each individual leg out of the foot holes and brushed it to the side. I stood up to inspect her body with a close loving gaze. Looking for any wounds that may need treating or bruises that need kisses.

"Good my little dove." I picked her up and laid into the bath not bothered about my long sleeves becoming sopping wet. Running my fingers through her hair brushing away any knots I sighed out in satisfaction, she was now all mine.

"Would you like me to join you little dove?" I questioned (y/n). She gave no response. I wanted her this way. Pulling my shirt off and dropping it onto a pile of (y/n)'s clothes, I knelt back down and rested my head onto the edge of the bath and looked up at her beautiful form that was being reflected into the water. Skimming my fingers along the surface of the water before dipping them below into the waters warm embrace and landing my hand onto her small frame beneath the water.

* * *

He has gone too far this time. I don’t know what to say what to do… I want to love him but that reaction spoke volumes about the man I loved and what will happen if I say any longer in this relationship.

"Say something little dove." Erwin sighed his voice filled with love and affection. I didn't want to say anything, the anticipation of being hit again was fresh in my mind. I lifted my wet fingers to my neck. I wanted to hurt him back. Like he hurt me. But I know if I did that everything would become worse for me. I have to play the game till someone saves me from this sick love.

Play the game.

But this game I cannot go wrong in. A game with a Yandere is like a game with death, I won't win.

"Erwin, do you love me?" I rasped since my wind pipe had been crushed and pretty much ruined for a good week or so.

"Of course I do little dove." He responded slightly taken aback by the question. I moved my hand that was resting on my bruised neck and rested it to his lips before running my thumb over the smooth skin; before placing kisses along his cheek. I felt him purr beneath my fingers and close his eyes.

Figures...

"You shouldn't join me yet." I wheezed in pain and brought my second hand up to caress his face, as much as it pained me to do this. I had to play him like a fool and beat him at his own game.

"Okay (y/n)." He smiled at me his eyes filled with lust. Not love anything but that. I was surprised that he didn't try to attack or harm me in any way since I was naked and vulnerable next to this abomination. He moved behind the bath and placed those hideously huge, calloused hands onto my shoulders and kissed the back of my head before he picked up a glass vile filled with oil. I didn't know what it was at first but it came to my realisation as he began to lather the liquid soap through my scalp and over my body that wasn't submerged.

"Your being such a good dove." Erwin purred as he sloshed water over my body and head to rinse off the soap. I rolled my eyes internally, but I have to remember, play the game. As I opened up my eyes I watched the soapy bubbles pop under the pressure of my fingers as I prodded them gently to amuse myself and take my mind away from this reality, I must remember: I am weak without him, he is my 'everything'.

"Thank your Erwin," I whimpered through a choke trying to pull off the innocent -save-me-from-the-monsters- act.

"I love hearing you say my name!" Erwin groaned deep in his chest as he pressed his tongue to my shoulder and began to lick the water droplets from my shoulders his hands gripping at my arms before his left hand began to explore down. He reached my nipple and brushed his thumb over it. I sucked in the urge to shiver.

"Little dove please whine for me." He moaned out whist turning my face to the right, to a wet mouthed panting Erwin. Clearly desperate to have some form of contact from me. I had to kiss him, I had to do it. It will hurt me internally for a while but I must play the game... I whined out in desperation and pressed my lips to his. Erwin smiled into my lips in satisfaction and evil glee. God I hated it, I hated him.

"I want you all." He whispered between my lips before he parted from me and instead pressed his hand over my mouth and grazed his teeth along my neck, generating a moan from my cursed throat. I will kill him in due time, remember that...

"Mmm, if that makes you moan... What makes your scream!" He hissed against my ear and sank his teeth into my shoulder causing me to scream in agony and writhe away from his grip on my mouth and body.

"Yes (y/n)! Scream for me." He sighed out as he removed his teeth from my shoulder. Luckily he hadn't broken the skin but there was a perfect red indent in the shape of his mouth around my shoulder. It stung like a bitch. He removed his hand and pulled me out of the bath roughly before slamming me up against the wooden bathroom wall.

"Say my name." Erwin growled and forced my naked legs to straddle his waist. It tasted like venom in my mouth as I tried not to seethe it out. I mustered up all of the sickly sweet voice in my throat and;

"Erwin." I moaned out. Looking directly into his eyes since he would know if I didn't mean it.

"Oh little dove, it has been too long for you to be mine. I've been watching and waiting for you for over two years. I couldn't understand my feeling at first all I knew was you were special to me; I just couldn't figure out in which way. But after the incident with that boy; Zach I knew that you had to be mine and no one else's." Erwin breathed his eyes never moving from my own (e/c). I was taken aback by his next action, which consisted of him resting his head into the crook of my neck. The unfortunate thing was I have fallen in love with him not the violent side but the caring sweet loving side that only cared for me I don’t want this deranged man but the lover I know he is. I sighed out and rested my hand on his golden locks, and pressing my nose into the tick crop of hair. Knowing the exact boy, he was talking about. It had been a year ago since it happened. I can remember every detail. It was just after a mission outside of the walls that’s when most people disappear for a day or two drinking themselves under the table after the expedition. And spending their life savings on all the alcohol in the bars.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_"Fuck-ing titanss... Tey' can alll go fuck t'emselves" Zach slurred and slammed his wooden tankard against the polished surface of the table covered in spilt beer and tears._

_"Come on Zach. It's time to leave." His comrade gripped his shoulder and pulled him up off of his chair and to his feet._

_"Why? So we can f'cking go to ou' deafffs?" He sneered and yanked himself away before promptly landing on his face. Completely unfazed by the many eyes of other customers on him._

_"You need to go back. She is worried about you." Zach's comrade mumbled his face full of pity toward the young man who was a slurring, stumbling mess of a human. Lifting Zach up again his comrade carried him back to his barracks, before he started something he couldn't finish. After a short walk back Zach spotted me through the clouded mist of alcohol covering his senses. The unfortunate thing was he caught me at a bad time... A very bad time. The man he once looked up to, he now despised after the following mission outside of the walls in which every member of his team died. Erwin was holding me in a loving embrace. His lips against mine and notably slipping his hands lower and lower down my body._

_"Wha' the fuck, Smith!" Zach shouted and launched himself over toward Erwin and I. His anger directed at the commander but more so at me for loving an enemy._

_"Z-Zach! Where have you been?!" I pulled away from Erwin in surprise and quickly brushed myself down in hope it would relax my body from having my first kiss from Commander Erwin himself. I knew Erwin was watching me completely disinterested by the other boy ahead of him thundering toward me._

_"You filthy tramp! What the fuck are you doing with the likes of this shit bag!" Zach screamed alcohol heavy on his breath and hatred clear in his face and body language toward Erwin and I. I was taken aback by this display of such violence I couldn't speak._

_"Say something you whore!" He yelled grabbing my arms and started to shake me vigorously._

_"Stop this cadet." Erwin boomed and jabbed his fist into Zach's abdomen and pulling me back behind him as the boy stumbled back and fell to the floor in disarray._

_"Are you okay little dove?"  Erwin asked checking over his shoulder to look at me dead in the eye. After I nodded in confusion back at Erwin, I saw his eyes change from soft and loving to steely and cold as he turned away to look at the boy._

_"Fucking pe' names now? Is tha' the fuck level you are on?" Zach spat as he stumbled up to his feet barely able to hold himself in an upright position. He whipped his spit off of his lips and gave his wrist a flick to remove the saliva from his hand. Zach was in pain and I could see that; but he isn't handling it the correct way, to be honest he will more than likely have a dishonorable discharge by the end of this night from the way he is acting. That's when I exploded shouting at him almost in a pleading way;_

_"Zach! Stop being so selfish! I can see you are hurting; I see your guilt but you need to stop doing what you’re doing now!" Frustration burning inside me from how he had not only said that Erwin and I were having sex but he was being cruel by insulting me using Erwin as a way to do it. My eyes connected with Zach's almost giving him a look of pity when I knew it would do nothing and it would more than likely end with me being punched._

_"Tha's rich, comin' from you. You're a fuckin slut! Goin’ round all of these men... You are a whore! And whores' don't get no -" There was a skin crawling crack as Erwin's fist connected with Zach's nose. Shock over came me since I had never seen Erwin raise a hand to anyone other than a titan. To be honest shock was really an understatement._

_"Go, before I have you put in front of a firing squad for your insubordination." Erwin growled. Zach looked up at Erwin from his position on the floor his face full of hatred._

_"Fuck you." Zach sneered and pulled himself off of the ground before skulking away, casting an ugly look at me over his shoulder._

_Suicide is a foolish notion. There is always a solution to the problem, but I guess Zach didn't find it in time. Two days my best friend Zach Macflagan committed suicide. Death by drowning in the bath. There was speculation into his death and there was an investigation, but any evidence of a possible murder was in-conclusive._

_That night Erwin held me in his arm whilst I cried into his shirt._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is stupidly small, but I needed to give depth to the characters :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

She looked so beautiful from where I stood my face in the crook if her neck. I lifted my face up to look at her. Her black sacks under the eyes showing her tiredness from everything, from life, from me. I know I'm not normal but I can’t help it. She is my everything, every stolen glance, ever action and every bone in her body belongs to me. I will kill anyone and everyone who wants her.   
I brushed my thumb over her naked breast knowing it is all mine. She let out a shaky breath as she came back from her deep thoughts and wriggled a little in my grip. Her bottom lip quivering a little holding back any noise.

"Little dove?" I asked, before gripping the underneath of her breast and stroking it aggressively. She mewled out in protest, my god it is so nice to hear her whimper. A dark lust took over me and I pushed her further into the wall and my hips inadvertently moving against her naked body causing a groan to erupt from my throat as my cock grew hard in the white trousers which were confining me from claiming my (y/n). She is amazing, my little dove, (y/n). Dragging my lips up her neck I pressed my lips to the fresh bite mark and kissed each individual indent I left on her skin.

"I want you." I moaned out between kisses. I don't know how much longer I will be able to deny the beast inside of me. He hasn't been feed. He is hungry. He is hungry for her. Moving my lips from her shoulder I pressed my lips to hers in desperation, I let my right hand slip down her naked body; heavy with water that clung to her skin. The further my fingers went the more she writhed in my grip.

"I want to fuck you." I panted against her lips, as my fingers finally reached the entrance to her woman hood. I rubbed the tip of my index finger against her clit and pinched it against my thumb and finger. I know I will be the only one to touch her this way... She is mine and after this she will forever be, Mine. I pushed in a digit into her warm, wet, tight entrance. Earning a gasp from her and causing her to tighten around my finger. I slipped it in and out of her with ease becoming more and more aggressive as my sexual tension rose. I slammed another finger into her which made her cry out in pain. She felt so good around my fingers I couldn't help but shudder at the things I will do to her. I jammed my fingers in her again and again prepping her for what I will do later. Opening and closing the two fingers inside of her I stretched her out further. I rumbled low in my chest as I latched my lips against her neck and began to suck so I know she will have a mark on her as property of mine. My dark thoughts were interrupted by a desperate cry of;

"Erwin, please." She whimpered. Irritation began to nag at me, she denied me access to a bath with her so I will have my way now and I don't care what she has to say. The beast is hungry. He needs to eat.

"I don't think you understand; I will fuck you. Today will be the day, for too long I have waited for you. So now it is my turn to be selfish and indulge my desires." I snarled as I lifted her up off of the wall and strode to my bed before throwing her onto it. Releasing a quiet "oof" from her lips. I stormed over to my bed side cabinet and pulled open the draw to revile tiny glass vile's filled with clear liquid, plucking one out I threw it at (y/n) who was just recovering from being thrown onto the bed. She caught it and looked at it with confusion.

"Drink it." I growled and started to unbuckle my belt my fingers not gripping at the buckle properly since they were shaking so much from the excitement of me finally having my (y/n).

"What is it?" She queried her eyes inspecting the vile with suspicion while her legs where clamped closed.

"Do as I say or I will make this hell for you, slut." Her eyes widened at the insult but nevertheless she quickly complied with my demand. Once I finished with my belt I slung it off to the side and ripped off my trousers in ecstasy. I dropped my pants which allowed my boner to spring free from its confides, I gripped my shaft and pumped it twice vigorously, readying to fuck her senseless. I have waited so long for this day I want her around me, calling out my name and crying for more.

"Get on your fucking knees you whore!" I shouted at her. She gave a quite murmur of protest as I slunk round her and stood in front of the bed, she looked on at me in defiance her face showing signs of contemplating whether she should disobey me further. My impatience was evident when I grabbed her ankles dragged her down the sheets and up onto her feet. I growled low in my chest as she stumbled onto her feet and in the loss of balance she landed against my chest, a very small amount of anger peeled off at how cute she was but I was still lustful and still want to make her mine. My eyes drifted over to my large dark wooden desk one of my many fancies was to fuck her up against my desk.

"Change of plans, get against the desk. Face forward." I hissed before walking across the room and standing behind my desk and swept it clear of everything. (y/n) flinched at the banging and clattering of metal objects and heavy wooden articles that hit and screech across the stone floor. My libido was buzzing and I tried to reduce my anger by tapping my foot on the floor in irritated inpatients.

"Erwin... Do you love me?" She muttered out barely audible as she leant over the mahogany desk. This question took me aback. Is this not why I am making her mine? Why I'm protecting her? Why I love her so much that I would kill anyone for her? She is so much more to me that some cadet. She is my little dove. So grateful, so hopeful, so perfect. I placed a hand either side of her face and travelled round to lean over her body. My chest pressing against her bare back, placing kisses up her spine that was all mine. I rested my cheek to hers before rubbing my cock up against her arse. She makes me so angry and so happy. I can't understand it...

"I love you (y/n). This is why I have to do this. Then we will be bonded together forever." I growled low. I dragged my teeth down her bare back and stood myself upright. I pressed the head of my dick into her entrance and pushed myself all the way in rather roughly. Making her scream in pain as this was her first time. I made sure of that.

"You're so fucking tight (y/n)." I moaned out in satisfaction. My hands gripping her hips and I slammed her back onto my dick, she let out another cry of agony. Whereas I let out a grumble of pleasure. Pulling out and pushing back in again and again into a rhythmic pace, her cries became quieter and quieter and became tears rolling down her cheeks. Did she not like this!? Why does she not like this!? She loves me doesn't she? Then why is she crying? My anger flared, I grabbed a fistful of wet hair in my right hand and pulled it back in threat, earning me a squawk of hurt spill from her lips. It mixed almost beautifully with the grinding of wooden table legs across the floor where I was fucking my (y/n) on it.

"You don't love me do you?" I snarled and started to fuck her more aggressively than before, releasing whimpers and cries from (y/n) mouth.

"Yes! Yes, I do Erwin! I love you! It hurts!" She shouted her eyes squeezed shut tears streaming down her face now.

"You are a fucking liar. You little bitch. If you did you wouldn't be crying." I snarled before pressing her head into the table my hand still intertwined with her (h/c) hair.  Using my left arm, I wrapped it round her waist and picked her hips up off the table for better access. I groaned in pleasure as I smacked against her again and again.

"Erwin! Let go of me!" She yelled just the sound of her voice sent me into a frenzy. I ripped her up off of the desk and dragged her to the bed before dumping her on it face first. I turned her up to face me, and threw myself onto her lips. She is my drug. I couldn't have enough. I slammed my dick back into her and pressed my lips to her neck. She smelled so good it was almost like an aphrodisiac to me.

"Scream my name." I moaned as I pounded against her. I felt my release bubbling up in the pit of my stomach. With a final few deep thrusts, I released into her causing my little dove (y/n) to scream my name. I shuddered as I came. I could feel my whole body relax. I pressed my lips to her neck holding myself in her just that little longer before pulling out, letting all of my juices slick out of her and onto my bed. Standing up from the bed I pulled out tissues from the underneath of the wooden frame and began to wipe myself with them. Once I was clean I turned my attention back to (y/n) who was laying on the bed curled up in a ball facing away from me. I sighed out and began to clear her of my seamen.

"It will hurt for a few days’ little dove, but I will always be here for you so don't worry if you can't stand." I mumbled and pressed my finger tips to her hair and swept my finger through the sleek (h/c) locks. She just nodded with little emotion other than pain.

"Let’s go to bed now my little dove." I smiled down at her before rolling her over to face me. The dark underlines of the tired eyes seemed to give her more age than ever before. She is a beautiful girl, mature for her age and her nature was definitely above that of a common eighteen-year-old girl. May be that’s why I love her so much? “I love you my little dove. I love you so much!” I cooed and pressed my lips to her forehead, giving her more reassurance that I am so in love with her.

“I love you too Erwin.” My little dove mumbled into the pillow her eyes glossy with tears of where she was hurting from my fucking. I know I should have savoured her for our wedding night but it is so hard to when she lays on the bed ready for the taking.

I just need to take her away from this place. Somewhere safe and somewhere no one will find us. Especially Levi. He knows. He has been watching for some time now. Readying to take away my Little Dove from me. He will have to be eliminated and soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick note

Hello there guys, 

I feel like I ow you an explanation for not churning out chapters. I will be updating this further in the next few weeks but I just wanted to say that after this chapter, It will be a long time before the next one is released as I am going to Japan for a few months. And prior to this amazing experience I will be working like a donkey, so I won't be able to update as quick. I wanted to finish this story before I go but that might be a little too optimistic.

Thanks for reading my story. I will be continuing with this but at a very slow rate. 

 

Although for waiting I have re-written the first chapter as I thought the dynamics of the relationship was contradictory so go back and have a read if you wish to see the improvements.

 Happy readings.

~ Andreaus Silver-Smith

**Author's Note:**

> Ummmmm, Sooooo I hope I caught that character right? I think that is what Erwin would be like if; he were a Yandere, anyways. More chapters will be on the way shortly!


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